The "D" Word

I just became aware of a new colloquial swear word in Utah Valley. It is the “D” word. No, it’s not the “D” word we are all probably familiar with. It is the word that you whisper and sometimes even mouth because you don’t want to utter it. You say it just waiting for everyone’s reaction. Will it be shock, sympathy, awkward silence, judgment? It’s always prefaced with some question about marriage and you say something like, “I’m…divorced.” Then without fail, there is a short pause and the disclaimer comes pouring out. I heard my mom give a disclaimer for years after her divorce. “I’m divorced….my husband was unfaithful.” Why do we feel we have to give an explanation? Is it really anyone’s business and more importantly, why do we have to feel guilty? It is because you would never want anyone to think you just gave up on your marriage; that you are like the 40% of Americans that decide to call it quits. I believe in marriage. I would have done anything to make my marriage not only successful, but happy. I never thought I would be divorced. I feel marriage is so much about commitment. When you are completely committed to a person, a different kind of love grows. So many people say you have to have love before commitment. I truly believe that the true, lasting love is a product of commitment.

Although at times I feel I should be strolling around Provo with a scarlet “D” on my sweater, I know most of the judgment from other is perceived. In Happy Valley, it is sometimes hard to know how to react to anything but happy endings. What we have to remember, is that just like any good fairytale, the opposition always comes first. The heroes are always faced by some struggle or villain. So this is my villain and someday I will have my happy ending. No, I don’t think everything will be perfect, but I will be happy. So here is to happy endings!