Friday, March 19, 2010

Beginning My Journey

“Divorced in Provo”...kind of like “Sleepless in Seattle” with a lot less romance and a lot more sleeping. So I’m 23, divorced, and live in Happy Valley, Utah…not exactly where I pictured my life at this point. I was married for 2 years to who I thought was the man of my dreams. Now, I’m going to come right out and say this. My husband…ex-husband (WOW…still can’t believe I’m saying that), is not a bad person. There is a reason I married him. And although I am not always the brightest crayon in the box, I didn’t walk into marriage blind. I pondered my decision, prayed about it, and felt good about it. And maybe that is why all this is so hard to swallow. Because my husband (Akkem…ex-husband) and I could have been great together. So while my friends, who have been married less time than I was are off multiplying and replenishing the earth, I am here moving in with roommates and marking my food with my initials before putting it in the fridge. BUT, like everything in life, something good can come out of something not so good. So, here I am beginning this journey. Some parts will be funny, others sad, but I hope by writing them down, I can give others something to laugh about, think about or identify with. And if no one ever reads my words, I hope I can find something in them. I hope I can find healing. One of my dearest friends recently gave me a journal for my birthday along with a note that said “I gave you this gift so that you can write down this journey of pain and healing-yes healing! One day someone will read it and find great strength in it.” Even if I am the “someone” who reads it and finds strength within my own words, my goal will have been accomplished. So here we go, ready or not! This is my life now and I am going to live it.

9 comments:

  1. Ashlee,
    I am so proud of you for staying so positive! You are an amazing person, and I am grateful to have you as a friend.

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  2. I think you're pretty awesome.

    It's impossible not to like you.

    :o)

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  3. Ashlee, I love you. It is a difficult thing we call life. I believe--I know how hard it is to be positive when handed pits instead of cherries. I have had to find my own happiness that wasn't always present when Deke first started traveling for work. It was hard. I didn't get married to raise our kids alone! When I made the choice to BE happy no matter what I WAS happy. Heavenly Father will bless you for your choices and will make you happier than you have ever been. You are an amazing example to me and those around you. Take care of yourself and enjoy your life--Heavenly Father wants you to be joyful and so do I! Love you Ashlee--remember you are a daughter of God born to be a Queen. Thank you for your inspiring attitude! Love, Cheri Burrell

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  4. you're a great writer, and most of all, very wise!

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  5. There is so much truth to what you write. I do hope I get to know you better. Its hard to go through, but know it is never alone. Heavenly Father has plans for you, happiness and peace will come. I wish you well.
    Ricky Dale

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  6. Ashlee, you need to know that what you shared from your heart is so similar to what my heart was yelling when I went through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. I am thankful that God is such a wonderful redeemer. He has given me wonderful new blessings. I am a friend of your mother and we have shared our heartache together. She is an amazing mom to have and I know she will be there for you. My son has been anxiously awaiting for his girlfriend of 2 years to come back from Korea, where she is teaching English. He was all set to propose to her. They had planned on marriage when she got back. The other day, she broke up with him on Skype. As a mom, I so wished I could take all that hurt away from him, but I can't. I know your mom feels the same way. I pray that God richly blesses you. I remember a song that promises that in this world we will have tribulation but be of good cheer for I (God) have overcome the world! Be blessed, Sweet Princess! You are loved! Charlene Jalovi -Spokane

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  7. I just want to thank you for putting your heart out there the way you have. My aunt gave me your link and your words and wisdom have helped. I am going through a similar situation at the age of 28. I hope you keep writing either on here or in your journal and pray someday I have the strength to do the same. Thank you again for sharing your story.

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  8. Ashlee, I feel like such a waste of a friend. I am sorry to hear that you weren't able to salvage your marriage. My prayer for you is that as you move on with your life that Heavenly Father will bless you with the blessings you so deserve. You are a sweet, vivacious girl and have so much to give. Thanks for being my friend. Kassie

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  9. we love you and send you BIG hugs and Aloha. So proud of you for staying strong and positive. Please know we are thinking of you and are always here for you.

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