Tuesday, July 6, 2010


During the last couple months, as I have began “getting myself out there,” I find myself repeating the same phrase over and over again. It started by me saying in my head but now I find myself actually saying it out loud. Sometimes it is said with a tone of disbelief, sometimes sarcastically; sometimes out of frustration and most of the time it is coupled with a shake of my head and a slight chuckle. It all started with my first Sunday in a single’s ward. For those of you who are wondering what the heck a single’s ward is, let me provide you with a short explanation. In the LDS church, the city is split up into sections. Each section attends a designated ward or worship service. The LDS church provides several different types of wards for target populations. There are wards for students, single people, families…etc. Going to one of these wards has its advantages and disadvantages. It is nice to be with people who are in similar situations and can relate to you. On the other hand, sometimes when you get too many people who are the “same,” things can get a little kooky. When I was married, I attended a family ward. I tried to continue going to the family ward, but I felt a little out of place being the only young single adult in the ward, so much to my dislike, I decided to give the single’s ward a try. I took a seat in the back and through my body language was trying to communicate to all those of the male gender what I was feeling- which was “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!” Well apparently some people don’t catch on to non-verbal cues, because before I knew it I had acknowledged that the seat next to me was not taken. The guy introduced himself. For confidentiality sake let’s call him Goober (and yes this name is comparable to his real name). Goober sat down next to me and began asking me all the typical get to know you (AKA sizing you up to see if you are eternal companion material) questions. I tried to be polite but I was quickly growing weary. And then I suddenly knew what to do….FINALLY, something the “D-card” is useful for. So I worked it into the conversation ever so smoothly by abruptly saying “Well I’m divorced.” I thought that would scare him off. Well apparently I underestimated Goober because I definitely didn’t expect to hear what came out of his mouth next. He said, “I can see why you were married….cause you are super attractive.” Later during the service, I told him to stop talking to me so I could concentrate on the speaker and he responded, “Again, I can see why you were married…because not only are you super attractive but you are super spiritual.” All I could think was “WOW…REALLY?” But Goober continues to exceed my expectations week after week. Either by giving me his “date card,” just in case I want a free meal or possibly a free t-shirt, or stating that he has a little crush on me. Apparently you get the t-shirt if you give him a kiss at the end of the date. I know, I know, say it with me folks- WOW, REALLY?!
I would like to say these are my only “wow…really?!” moments, but alas there are many more. Many of them happen via text message. I don’t know what it is about texting that makes a guy magically grow an inflated self-ego and say whatever the heck he wants, but apparently it happens quite frequently. Let’s look at a few examples, shall we?
Exhibit A: You meet a guy in a casual setting. You have a 20 to 30 minute conversation and he asks for you number afterwards. You give it to him, not thinking too much of it. He texts you and asks you what you are up to. You tell him you are about to workout. He asks you what gym you go to and you respond that you don’t go to the gym, that you do P90x. This is his response “I don’t know why you need to do P90X …You’re HOTT!” WOW…REALLY?! You really just texted me that. WOW!
Exhibit B: You are introduced to a guy through a mutual friend. He tells your friend that he wants your number. Your friend asked if he can give it to him. You think “what they hay…why not?” Well he texts you and the first thing he says is “How’s it going, beautiful?” AGH, gag me with a spoon! This guy doesn’t even know you! Wow…really?! Did you just text me that Rico Suave?
As I have pondered why these situations keep happening to me, I had the thought that maybe I am coming into contact with these guys because they need my help. How can I help them…well I can tell you not by dating them, but maybe by being honest with them. So I have. I call them out on it. In the infamous words of Bob Newhart, I tell them to “just stop it” (you have to check out this video! It’s classic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE) I tell Goober he is too much and he needs to lay off. I told the other 2 guys that when you compliment a woman on her looks right off the bat it makes her think that you just want a piece. I have lots of great attributes, and my looks definitely aren’t my greatest one. So if they would like to get to know me and not just my “hotness,” I wouldn’t mind if they gave me a call sometime. I am surprised how well this tactic has worked. I’m sure the guy has been caught a little off guard, but in the end he is grateful for my bluntness.
Now, recently I have been surprised by a new meaning behind the phrase “Wow…Really?!” I have met several guys in the last couple of weeks that have been surprisingly amazing. I found myself saying “Wow…Really?! There are normal guys out there? There are nice, intelligent, good-looking guys still available?” So don’t give up hope girls. There are some out there. You might have to go through a lot of Goobers, but there are still a few good men. 


  1. Gotta love the Goobers in the world! At least they aren't hard to spot....hehe!

  2. Wish you would still write!! You've given me a new perspective on this!

  3. Read your entire blog today. I read it backwards of course, this one is SO funny, as was the post about what your PT said!!! So true!!!!! I found myself feeling sad, because it's always sad when things don't work out the way you want them to... most people can relate to that 'collapse', be it one way or another right? Your words were motivating because you CLEARLY have a grasp on reality you are going to be WAY better than fine. I was surprised to learn you are only 23! It is healthy to express, to let it out so it cannot infect you beyond this immediate 'shock and awe' phase right? You have an engaging way with words. I wanted to keep reading! I hope you are doing well! ~Becky